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Great appointment with Dr H, he was so happy for me. This is the first time I have seen him since the embryo transfer. He was great. The scan shows baby is 7 weeks exactly. It was amazing to see it’s little flickering heartbeat. It was super fast and Dr H is pleased with that too.

He has recommended the following treatment for me:

4 weekly appointments until week 32 (then more often)

Week 12 – more bloodwork & Scan (Nuchal Translucency)

Week 15/16 amniocentesis

Week 20 – Scan (morphology, development assessment)

Week 26 – Glucose tolerance test

Week 36-40 – Blood tests – antibody screen & iron studies


My due date is 15 January 2009. All is well with my world.


Are feeling of doubt and worry normal? I mean do women who fall pregant naturally, rather than through fertility treatments have less doubts and worry? Does not going through the turmoil of treatment give a woman a different perspective on being pregnant?

Does the process of trying so hard, the planning, the appointments, the blood tests, the drugs, the injections, the hopes and disappointments all contribute to making the woman more unsure? Not unsure about wanting to be pregnant – I very much want to be pregnant – but more unsure that everything might not be ok.

Reading blogs is a double edged sword for me. I value the experience, the advice and the support, but I dread the sad stories, the unhappy endings. I invest myself in the stories of these women and I hope for them. I follow their attempts, rejoice at the success and feel the losses. I won’t stop reading because not knowing would be worse than knowing.

Does more information and shared experiences contribute to my own concerns – about getting pregnant, about staying pregnant, about a healthly child, about coping as a single parent? I imagine as my pregnancy progresses my concerns will shift with each stage – at this point I cannot get past next Wednesdays ultrasound (seeing a heartbeat will reassure).

Everything seems to be going well. Intermittent feeling of nausea but nothing too bad.

Todays blood test:

HCG = 17500

P4 = 51.1

5 days to my first scan which will hopefully be a beautiful thing.

Bra shopping is now a priority – will go tomorrow.


I am 6 weeks pregnant today and I am so grateful.

My life hovers between overjoyed and terrified. I so want this to be a wonderful pregnancy with a healthy baby at the end.

I am using the progesterone morning and night and so far no more spotting but the constant checking and worrying is becoming tiresome. I will be having another blood test on Friday which I hope will go some way to reassuring me that everything is going ok.

I have had the odd few moments of sickness (not really nausea, more like a lump in my throat) that I hope are pregnancy related. I also get this kind of feeling when I am really stressed or worried (which I am trying not to be).

Next Wednesday I will have my first appointment with Dr H that is pregnancy related rather than IVF. He will do a scan then, I think seeing the heartbeat will go along way to calming my fears as well. Due to my age (37 when the baby is born) I am assuming he will recommend extra testing. I really don’t know where I stand on amnio or CVS, if there was something terribly wrong I don’t know that I would have the emotional or financial resources to deal with it very well. I will see what he thinks and then make up my mind. What did others do?

In lighter news, I went bra-shopping today which proved to be awful. I am quite busty to start with, to say that my cups runneth over, is an understatement. They are so big and sore, the mind boggles about what is to become of my girls in the months to come.

After much panic and nervous waiting I got the results of my second blood test – the results are FANTASTIC!

HCG = 5100 (has doubled in 2 days)

Progesterone = 43 (up from 10)

Spotting has stopped, I have started to breath again.

Thanks for the kind comments from all of my regular readers (I have had more support here than I have IRL).

The progesterone pessaries have obviously done the trick, I will continue to use them until I see Dr H for my first ultrasound on 28th May. Dr H will be my obstetrician as well.

Yesterday I went to see my acu-guy Michael, he was so pleased – hugs all around. He has prescribed me some herbs that he swears offer good support for pregnancy – “an gong gu tai fang” – it fortifies the foetus and is prescribed for threatened miscarriage or habitual miscarriage. Might go in for a relaxation session as well.

At this point I will do anything – stand on my head for 6 hours, whatever it takes.

Thanks again for the kind words and for the other 400 or so people that have looked at this blog in the last few days – say hello!! I put it out there to share and get the feedback – I would love to know who you are, what your thoughts are.

I am feeling sick with worry.

I had my second beta today and the result is 2506 which is great but my progesterone has dropped to 10 – I am having a small amount of spotting (not on my knickers but on the TP) I really am terrified now.

My doctor has put me back on to progesterone pessaries which a manufacturing pharmacist is mixing up for me today. I have used a Crinone Gel this afternoon and another tonight in the hopes of increasing the level ASAP.

The clinic want me to have another blood test on Friday to confirm that the progesterone is rising. I think I will know before then if I am going to keep this pregnancy. I have taken the next 2 days off work.

Please send me your good thoughts.


Today was one of my best days at work ever.

I am a scrub nurse in theatre and have seen quite a few caesarian births (by just being in the room at the time) BUT yesterday I scrubbed for my first one. Being up close and being able to see everything that was happening was amazing (and brutal – poor Mum), as they pulled the sweet little girl out and rested her on her mother I put out my hands to hold her in place while the surgeons were taking care of the cord. She reached out and held my finger.

I was the first person that this little girl touched. It was very sweet. I felt quite emotional.

My whole world is very much pregnancy and baby focussed. I remain stunned by my good fortune but also terrified that something may go wrong.

It is confirmed – I am pregnant, with child, a bun is in the oven!!

The clinic advise:

Beta HCG = 142

Progesterone = 34.2

They date me at 4 weeks – not exactly sure how that works – must go back to last AF.

It feels surreal. I am excited, and so happy, but scared. I think I will feel this way for some time yet.

I am starting to get excited but still very nervous that maybe it is wrong.

I am still getting 2 lines on the pee-sticks and today I got up at the crack of dawn to be down at the lab for the blood test.

I will update when I know….

I did another HPT this morning (a different brand) and the line is so light it is just about not there. It is not getting darker – at all. I will have to wait until Wednesday for the blood test.