Are feeling of doubt and worry normal? I mean do women who fall pregant naturally, rather than through fertility treatments have less doubts and worry? Does not going through the turmoil of treatment give a woman a different perspective on being pregnant?

Does the process of trying so hard, the planning, the appointments, the blood tests, the drugs, the injections, the hopes and disappointments all contribute to making the woman more unsure? Not unsure about wanting to be pregnant – I very much want to be pregnant – but more unsure that everything might not be ok.

Reading blogs is a double edged sword for me. I value the experience, the advice and the support, but I dread the sad stories, the unhappy endings. I invest myself in the stories of these women and I hope for them. I follow their attempts, rejoice at the success and feel the losses. I won’t stop reading because not knowing would be worse than knowing.

Does more information and shared experiences contribute to my own concerns – about getting pregnant, about staying pregnant, about a healthly child, about coping as a single parent? I imagine as my pregnancy progresses my concerns will shift with each stage – at this point I cannot get past next Wednesdays ultrasound (seeing a heartbeat will reassure).

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