I have been really slack with my blogging lately – but I am still reading. Some of my pregnant bloggies have found out the genders of their babies which is just lovely. Others are still on their IF journey and don’t seem to be holding up so well. Others remain positive and hopeful. I send my good wishes and thoughts to all of them. It makes me appreciate how lucky I am to be able to say that I am now 15.5 weeks. I try to be a loyal reader (if not so good at always commenting) but some of the negativity gets to me and I don’t want to read in the blogs of others about “smug fertiles” and the horrors of seeing pregnant women around. Or, are pregnant women who have conceived by IF treatment OK, somehow acceptable??
Don’t get me wrong – I am no Pollyanna, I am not all sunshine and roses. I have lost a friend (a 20 year friendship) IRL because of my wishing to attempt IVF, the lack of support astounds me. I can truly understand the disappointment of failed attempts. I do understand the longing and the wanting for ones own child. I cannot understand the begruding of another womans desire to be a mother, or her success at becoming pregnant (regardless of the circumstances). 

I am happy in myself and generally well, but I have no energy and I feel tired most of the time. Work has become an issue as the sights and smells (in the operating room) are making the nausea worse. I have spoken to my boss and will be starting a new position in the Recovery area tomorrow.  It should be much better. I will be able to sit more and will not have to face most of the smells which seem to make me feel sick.

My amniocentesis is scheduled for Wednesday and I am anxious about that. Dr H wants me to take it easy so I will have Wed-Fri off work. I am terrified of a bad result but also excited that I will be able to find out the sex of the baby. I had a dream a few nights ago that they told me it was a girl – I woke up so happy.

Mum and I had a look at prams and cots today – so many to choose from – who would have thought? It is confusing trying to decide. I will not be buying anything until my amnio results are in. Please send me good vibes for Wednesday.

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