I love staying home with my baby and I am in no rush to get back to work. My finances dictate that I will have to go back around July/August and I am not looking forward to it. I am currently on half-pay maternity and holiday leave which runs out mid-year. I have been managing reasonably well on half-pay so at this stage I will only be doing 2 days a week.

The major obstacle to going back is childcare. It is really difficult to get a place for your child where I live. On one hand I hate the idea of handing her over to strangers for 2 days a week BUT on the other hand I will be desperate and worried if I can’t get a place for her because we need the pay to live. I have been visiting childcare centres and have found a few that seem nice. We are on waiting lists now (have actually been on them since I was 5 months pregnant), with fingers crossed. Some of the people working in them look like teenagers, I like it when they have more mature staff.  The hospital where I work does have a large centre on site and it would be excellent if I can get her in there as I will be able to visit and breastfeed her.

After a conversation with one of the managers I am hoping that if I can get it organised, I will introduce Paige slowly. Just a few hours at first, then half days, then full days. This is for my benefit as well as hers. It is playing on my mind a lot and I think it is going to be quite hard to leave her. I am worrying about something that I can’t avoid. I went to childcare myself and don’t think I’ve turned out any worse for it 😉 but it is the whole trusting other people to do what I want to be doing for myself.

Hopefully this will all happen before August or I really don’t know how we are going to manage financially.